As it happens, I saw the speed gun locked on my windshield once it was much too late to engage in preventative measures. My speedometer dropped 15 notches in two seconds, but when I saw this cop jump on his bike, I just knew it was for me. I merged in-between two cars in the center lane and drove with my eyes on my rearview mirror because, if I was going to get pulled over, I wanted to see it coming.
Except, I don’t even know where he went. The next 10 miles were driven in a silent fear because, despite being a general do-gooder, normal citizens like me are busted for silly things all the time. Technically, being a smidgen over the speed limit is against the law, but why pick on a princess when there are actual villains wrecking havoc in the city?
And the thing is, I feel like I’m busted for everything. I don’t know how to be sneaky and I always forget where the usual speed traps are. The one text I make is the one a cop sees and the day I get into a fender bender is the day before I renew my expired registration.
Today, however, I’m happy to say that my ghost cop left me alone and I merely worried myself to work. I’m so glad it caused me to reach out and ask what everyone’s last ticket was because the responses I received were nothing short of laughable.
I see now that what we’re left with are a series of vibrant stories of being ticketed for wacky reasons. Cops have united us so that we stand in spite our reprimands with our tickets held high and our personal records stained colorful. In truth, sometimes we deserve a good scolding for the things that we do.
Here are a few responses I got to make you feel better about your last ticket (and I quote, because some of your answers made me laugh out loud):
Running a red light in Waikiki on my bicycle.
Speeding. A lot.
Unsafe lane change - so pretty much not using my turn signal.
Parking in a stupid place.
Going 28 in a 25. I actually paid it because I'm a sucker.
Taking pictures of [my son] with my cell phone while driving.
Noise violation for blasting death metal in Manoa graveyard at midnight.
What are some other silly or embarrassing tickets you've received?