Friday, October 31, 2008

German Halloween

Germans, generally, don't participate in Halloween. It is originally an Irish custom that leaked into America where it got shot up with commercial steroids and became loosely known around the rest of the world. The Kids attend an international school that decided to participate in Halloween by throwing multiple parties for different grades.

First, The Mom and I attended a small underwhelming party for kindergartners. After eating a delicate meal of sugar, cupcakes, brownies, cookies, chips and juice, the little monsters had a dance party in the middle of the room instigated by The Mom (she's a riot). This was followed by a game of Pin-the-wart-on-the-witch and a craft of glitter-facing mini pumpkins.

The cafeteria party was a mixture of everyone up to third grade full of streamers and wild spider webs that attack innocent au pairs. Because this is a private school, the snack food included things like capri sun (don't even mention a community barrel of fruit punch, these kids are individuals!), high-end pastries, rich chocolate displays, and an over abundance of FRUITS which nobody ate.

The whole time, I snacked. In fact, I was snacking before I even the left the house, rummaging through our bowl of trick-or-treat candy and picking out the ones I had never seen (and even the ones I had). "Cultural experience," I said, justifying my unhealthy consumptions.

The party ended after pumpkin bowling, mummy wrap, a dance party, a snack fest, and a boy threw up. We took the leftovers ("It's candy shopping!" I told The Girl, and this pleased her very much, so we went around the cafeteria grabbing candy from bowls and putting it in her bag) and booked it.

But wait. The Mom brought 5 giant bales of hay to the party that needed to be returned to the farm the next day. SO, after The Kids went home with The Dad, The Mom and I loaded up the same 5 giant bales of hay back into her car and drove off. As we were halfway home, The Mom sniffed around and asked is I could smell something burning. So I take a whiff of the air, ignoring the pungent fumes of barnyard animal stink, and agree that there seemed to be a hint of smoke. Not sure if it was coming from the inside or out, The Mom rolled both our windows down. Before we could even get a good smell of the air, she screamed, "HAY, HAY, HAY, HAYYY!!!!" Although the hay was in bales, most of it was still lose and with the torrent of fresh air streaming currents through the back, it all kicked up and went flying. I ducked, I closed my eyes, I held my breath. Hay was spinning like a tornado throughout the car and the windows would not roll up fast enough. When all was settled, we had hay in our hair and hay on our clothes. Just a little hint of smoke caused so much chaos.

Anyway, at home, I completely abandoned The Mom by staying home and leaving her with 12 trick-or-treating children. I'm sorry, but I am barely able to withstand the walk from the parking lot to the school and so I will definitely not walk a loop around the neighborhood for one hour. Instead, I stayed home, cleaned up and passed out candy to about eight rounds of children. I even started to crochet.

So, Surprise, it's just standard Halloween procedure. There's nothing different about Halloween in Germany, except that it's lesser known and scarcely participated. I'm almost sorry to disappoint.

Happy Halloween.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

The Wild Park

This past Saturday, the family and I went to the Wild Park. It's like the zoo in that animals are caged in and separated by species, but it is done in their natural habitat. They have extremely large spaces in which to roam which is the biggest differentiating factor between the wild park and the zoo.

We had the option of purchasing a bag of little food pellets which we could feed to certain animals. It doesn't seem safe in my head, but if thousands of kids do it than surely I could too (of course, I do blame the US for their overabundance of rules, regulations and restrictions. Now I'm afraid that everything will hurt me). So to the left is a picture of me and a mountain goat and, needless to say, I had never touched a mountain goat before. They pretty munch inhaled the pellets while dropping loads of spit onto my palm. The look of disgust on my face should just give you an idea of how that felt.

Some animals left me unimpressed (like the bear. A bear's a bear) but the moose was another story. I had never seen a moose before and to have one so close was a surprise. I expected all large animals to be weary of humans and choosing to graze at the farthest edge of the fence (like the bear). Yet, there was the moose, gentle and unafraid. I was in love with its large body and awkward legs. It just struck me as such a humble creature. So, naturally, moose became my favorite animal.

One of the more interesting creatures were the albino deer. For one, they were deer and I never see deer, and then for two, they were freaks of nature with no pigmentation. Of course I'm going to adore them. As you can see by the pictures, the animals tend to follow you around, especially if they are hungry and no one else is in the park. It's common for the alpha male of any animal species to push the females and babies aside and hog all the food. In fact, the male ram would actually headbutt the bodies of any other ram that was being fed. This immature and selfish behavior ensured that no males got fed by me. Take that, testosterone.

All in all it was a great experience. I have a tendency to realize the extent of my ignorance once I'm placed in new situations. The family thought I was a riot to go nuts over squirrels and raccoons (which were just as cute as my stuffed animals!!!) I suppose I'd better live this momentary fascination up before garden pests and cold weather become jaded.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Au Pairs meet famous people too.

Today we drove again into Dusseldorf where H and I took some time to walk around the city. We split a Belgium waffle which is actually eaten like bread. Syrup would only mask the decadence of a true Belgium waffle: soft, with pockets of sweet and covered in powdered sugar. As we pass Kings Ally ("Why is it called Kings Ally?" "Because the stores here are so expensive that only Kings could afford it") and into the center part of town. My jaw drops. There in the front of my eyes is the largest H&M I have ever seen. It was three stories at least of highly fashionable and extremely affordable clothing. "Girl, this is a European brand. You're going to find them everywhere." With that said, I have come to two conclusions. 1) I foresee where my paychecks are going and 2) I may never leave Europe again.

Then we walked over to a sushi restaurant (which is common being that Dusseldorf has the largest population of Japanese in Europe) to wait for her husband and a few business contacts. Apparently, the largest golfing magazine in Japan wanted to do an 11 page spread on her husbands company that would circulate throughout Japan, Europe and the US. I suppose with something that juicy resting on a silver platter, the least you could do is entertain. ("It's really just a bunch of bull shit," he confessed). There was a few German businessmen, the golfing journalist, the head of a leather golf bag company and a high profile fashion photographer who shot for places like GQ, Esquire, Marie Claire and the New York Post. I should also mention that his clientele ranges from popular fashion models to Giorgio Armani.

I actually thought this job might be remotely predictable. Set hours, clean this, play with that... but the truth is that I could end up in the Netherlands by 6 o'clock or shaking the hand of a man who has captured it all. That's actually overwhelming.

I've already fallen in love with German bread, Belgium waffles and Irish butter. I suppose this is the year of living it up. Tomorrow: Friday. I have no idea what we're doing beside eating eis (ice cream!! I know German).

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Will blog for sleep.

I've entered Germany illegally. I have no visa to speak of and a one way ticket. This is a large no-no that shouldn't have gotten me past check in. The travel gods were with me as I threw on my freckle face and convinced the lady that there was world peace. Germany needs not fear me.

And despite it all, I am here, alive and well. Cold and sniffling. Fugitive and all.

I had spent 16 hours in travel, 9 hours in transit and a resulting 15 hours in bed. There were some highlights to day one.
  1. OMG, I'm above the UK.
    Near the end of my 11 hour flight, I flipped on the map on my personal television screen and lo and behold I'm right above England. OMG, I'm above the UK. Don't tell me to stop smiling.

  2. Brown Spots.
    As we descend upon German land, I take note of the geometric pattern of fields. They have different shades and textures and then these blocks of brownish orange amongst them. I squint my eyes, trying to figure out what they are. As the plane gets closer to landing, the brown sections become clearer and I realize that they are trees!! It's FALL! Hawaii has made me ignorant but I feel giddy inside.

  3. Nix means Nothing in German.
    So nobody will call me that.

  4. I invented German architecture.
    The houses in Germany have extremely pointy roofs, like the ones I used to draw as a kid. Except, these have a lot more windows.

  5. Germans don't have closets.
    My host family asked if I preferred the large bedroom or the small bedroom and I simply replied, "The one with the biggest closet." "Sweetie, Germans don't have closets. They have armoires." You know, like Beauty and the Beast and the Chronicles of Narnia. I'm going to say that that adds a sprinkle of fun when I get dressed in the morning.
Day two has been a lot more eventful, even considering the fact that I woke up at noon. Don't judge me, a 12 hour difference is the equivalent to a major kick up the butt. Don't tell me to suck it up, being awake hurts.

The kids have taken extremely well to me which has been a surprise to their parents. Go Nix and her undeniable charm. I feel like the pied piper. We've already exhausted ourselves on the giant trampoline. Twice. I swear that's the only thing that makes me warm in this 60 degree weather. Oh yea, ps. I am now living in a massive, custom built house with three floors, a fireplace, antiques and high ceilings. I have outdone myself.

My host mom has been unbelievably accommodating. Before we went to pick up the kids, she took me to their back yard where there are like ten deer and a stag. We fed them raw spaghetti noodles, which apparently is deer cuisine.

Then we drove into Dusseldorf to pick up the kids at their fancy international private school. The Mom may be rich, but she scoffs at the other Chanel-wearing moms and yells at her kids in public. She knowingly ignores the standards that other wealthy parents hold themselves to. It's actually kind of funny.

Then as we were driving home, I made a comment about a horse and its baby (which there are many of in her part of town). So The Mom called her sister-in-law and we suddenly have an appointment to visit Pear, her horse.

So, we drive twenty minutes into THE NETHERLANDS where the horse stables are located. (It's my second day in Germany, and I'm already in another country. This is just way too awesome for my comprehension). We feed Pear horse-chips and ride him around until it's time to rush to a Portuguese restaurant where The Dad, is waiting for us. (They say that German food sucks which is why Germans eat other cultural foods). Chips (deep fried fresh potato slices) are the best things ever.

And now that I've keep myself up, it is time for a deep sleep full of animal dreams. I probably love Germany.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Pre-Germany

I'm running on my last 24 hours in Hawaii. After having a splendid German send-off party and a plethora of goodbye dinners, I'm left over-socialized and ready to pack.

This is the start of my one year in Germany.

SHEIZA.