73. Take a Self Defense Class

Ah yes, another completed goal straight down the hatch. Despite being half-way there with my 101 Goals in 1001 Days, the list itself is coming along strikingly. Last month I took a free self-defense class for women at Smith Tae Kwon Do Center in Kaneohe, and proceeded to learn what it takes to kick villain butt. In fact, I subsequently wrote an article for The Kapi'o that may help to defend your honor if you so choose to take on the responsibility.

Needless to say, the class was wonderfully educational. Having the knowledge and the practice of defending myself against an attacker has made me feel substantially more safe when I'm alone. I have since purchased a vial of pepper spray, which I whip out with enthusiasm once the sun sets. Sometimes I go through the steps of defense in my head, prepared at all times to do what it takes to ensure that I am never a victim.

Read the article, take the class, defend your honor. Goal #73, you're so history.

Video Spam

I'm going to spam you with videos, are you ready?

MAKAPU'U CLIFFSIDE HIKE
The first is my most recent, though it was shot back in March during Spring Break. (Time has no respect for anybody). Jeff, Laura, Chris, Doni, Spencer and I made a date to hit up the area around Makapu'u Lighthouse. I could write a whole story for you, but then that would defeat the purpose of my poignant narration. Behold, a great outdoor adventure.



KAWAII-KON 2010
The second was an assignment from The Kapi'o, a small newspress run out of KCC. We had written an article about Kawaii-Kon a few weeks before the event began, though I didn't read it until it hit the stands the following Monday. I took the paper to my editor, begged to attend and it was done. Press passes were promised to me and I reserved the weekend of the 17th for nerdtastic fun. Oh, and it was a beautiful weekend indeed.




HUSTLED BY WIND (SKIRTS DON'T STAND A CHANCE)
This is another video taken during spring break when my friend, Ken, and I decided to go out for lunch together. Our spontaneity led us to a post-meal trip to Pali Lookout, where the winds were on high per usual. Inspired by the footage, I went home and had the video edited within a few days. Within the week, "Hustled by Wind" had over 1,000 hits, which I miscredited to my editing skills. Thanks to YouTube's Insight data section, I was able to discover that it was just an overwhelming amount of 55-64 year old men who were doing searches for "windy skirt." This is disgusting, but the video is not. Watch it.

So good at pushing away.

My cat and I have always had an unsteady relationship. She was introduced into our family by an ex-boyfriend who thought he was doing a romantic deed back in 2003. I really loathed all the ridiculous teen-movie shenanigans that he put me through, most of which were excessively contrived and stupid. 

But I digress. During this time, I was obsessed with the musical "Cats," which is about a clan of felines who sing and dance about the woes of living on the streets. It's fantastic. I had one particular favorite whose name was Magical Mr. Mistoffelees. As you can surmise by his title, he was magical and just about the greatest cat ever. Mr. Mistoffelees was jet black with white feet and the exact model of the feline that I was in the midsts of bribing my parents to adopt for me.

So when Ex-Boyfriend showed up at my house with a surprise in his car, I was both irritated and appalled at the stark white girl cat that was hiding in his back seat. Not only was she the physical opposite of what I desired, but she couldn't dance, do magic or even be sociable for that matter. Sugar, my new cat, was a ball of allergy for me, with nails that scratched ruthlessly while leaving swollen red welts in their wake. 

I broke up with my boyfriend shortly thereafter.

In the last seven years that I've been feeding Sugar, we have never gotten along. I draw pictures of cats incased within red circles with a vicious slash drawn across it. "NO CATS!" is usually printed on the bottom. It never mattered if she could understand or not, the point was that I was laying down the law, and I had every intention of reinforcing punishment. 

So when I moved to Europe and returned 18 months later with a renewed sense of patience and love, I was startled at how accepting I had become of Sugar. Suddenly, I was petting her, hugging her and letting her pass through my cat-forsaken doors. In fact, there were nights when I would let her sleep on the foot of my bed. When I began to experience major allergic reactions to my entire bedroom due to the constant existence of dander, I just took allergy medications and carried on. 

But the point of this story isn't about a rocky relationship with a cat. It's about the rocky relationship that I have with all boys. You see, shortly after I began to extend kindness towards Sugar, she fell in love with me. She would follow me around the house and take naps next to my work space. If I went to sleep without her in my room, she would sit at my door and complain until I let her in. Although this sounds romantic, it isn't. 

I began to feel like she was encroaching on my personal space, suffocating me. I felt like I wouldn't be able to love her as much as she loved me, so I told her to leave me alone and spare herself the heartache. "It's not you, it is TOTALLY me. We gotta just be friends, I'm so sorry."

And just as I was breaking up with my cat, I realized I had commitment issues. The story of my life unfolded before me, boy after boy after boy after boy after cat. It was a repetitive tale of momentary interest followed by a sudden disappearance. I can't tolerate people being close to me, and in this way, I have become so good at pushing away.

I put the NO CAT! signs back up, shampooed the carpet and changed my sheets, eliminating all traces of dander and unrequited love. I exercised the clean and neat parting that I've grown so proficient at: No commitment, no obligations, no disappointments, no cat, no relationship.

It sounds lonely, and it actually really is. I've endured years of being single before, though not for lack of trying. Attachments kind of scare me. A lot. Perhaps this is why I so often take off traveling, leaving home for another country faster than anyone would believe logical or even safe. I have a huge heart, but one that I keep to myself; secured and barricaded behind every defensive force imaginable. Truth be told, I don't know how to change.

But last week, I surprised myself by intentionally leaving my door open before I went to sleep. When I woke up in the morning, my cat was sleeping at the foot of my bed, already forgiving my love retraction. I took an allergy pill, gathered her up in my arms and told her that what we had was true love. 

And one day, I'll get it right in the human world too.