The dreams that cause you to wake up crying.

I had been living abroad for a year and my mom was there to pick me up at the airport. This was a dream that was a continuation of now, except it was taking place in December 2008 - two months before my grandma would pass away.

It was nice to be back in Hawaii and the weather was warm, though the sun was setting and I was tired. Mom parked the car outside the house, except it was the house we used to live in ten years ago. Inside, it was full of life. Family moving around and holiday dishes being created. I looked around and saw my aunties, my uncles, my cousins, my dad. And Grandma. She was exactly as I remember her, and I missed her. I went up to grandma and asked if I could help her cook. She asked if I knew how to make six-minute pie and I didn't. Wanting to spend as much time with her as possible, I said, "If there's a twenty-five minute chicken, then maybe I can help." So she brought out a cutting board and I knew she was going to teach me. She brought out the baking soda and measured it, tapping the portion out onto the cutting board. Then she grabbed the flour and as she was scooping it with a measuring cup, she looked up at me and said, "I'm sorry we didn't make more things." In my sleep, I started to cry. What she meant was, "I'm sorry we didn't do more together when I was alive." With both versions of myself crying, one in the bed and one in the kitchen, I said, "Grandma, we did the perfect amount."